soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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