Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize