I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
