quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
