So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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