if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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