Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They took my balls.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
