I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
