At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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