genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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