oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
