i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
