meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
