Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
