I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
