she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize