Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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