We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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