She announced her abortion via fbk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
