You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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