We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
