On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
