yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
