Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
