Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
