Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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