i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
