I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
