Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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