There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize