I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
