so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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