allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i barfeds in our rink
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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