How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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