my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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