dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
why is half of my head shaved?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
