Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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