Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she peed on how many people?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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