So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
