1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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