she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
