"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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