you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
