Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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