Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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