Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
