I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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