I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
