Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
