I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
