Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude. I can hear the air.
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