She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
