I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pants are for mortals
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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