It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
