Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
that's an acceptable place to lick
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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