So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My breasts were aching with rage.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
