Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
